R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
