I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
