The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
