Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
