when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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