hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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