Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
