Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
