I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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