whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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