so explain again why im purple
no
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
