you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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