The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
