I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
