Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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