I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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