I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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