is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize