can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
