so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize