Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
