He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
