Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
When did angry sex become our thing?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
did i just pee glitter
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
