I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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