Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
