if i can run in heels then i can drive
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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