ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
