But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
