my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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