these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
