so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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