wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
