If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
