Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize