OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
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Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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