Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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