So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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