I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
