11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize