I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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