whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
