we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
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I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
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Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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