Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
