Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
