I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
