Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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