Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
