He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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