So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
