hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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