why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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