you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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