I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
