Having a random hookup so left but love u
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
