Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dignity is for republicans.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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