It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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