This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
wow bdsm is so cute
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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