Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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