Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
