Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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