i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
