My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize